


Chocolate or: The Perfect Storm

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [48]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Banter, Body Worship, Chocolate, Comeplay, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:53:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29266797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: October 1980. On the merits of sex, talking and gift-buying.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius x Remus [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Chocolate or: The Perfect Storm

“It’s been smooth sailing for the two of you?” James asked. His eyes looked bone tired but blissful behind his glasses, which were a little bit misty. Having a new-born suited him.

“Yep,” Sirius said, drumming energetically on the counter and staring haughtily at the chocolate pralines in neat, glossy rows behind the glass. The shopkeeper, a middle-aged muggle man with pink cheeks and a broad smile, glanced his way at the noise. He was in the middle of serving another customer, an old lady bearing an enormous umbrella.

“I knew you had it in you,” James said happily. He had busied himself drawing what was either a Cleansweep 3 or 4 in the light condensation on a windowpane near the counter. It was a wet, cold day and the little chocolate shop they had stumbled upon was rather warm. “I knew you could be more than just an epic shag if you put your mind to it.”

The shopkeeper frowned visibly and raised his voice mid-sentence to his customer. 

“I’m still an epic shag,” Sirius countered immediately, “that is the epitome of my existence, you fuckwit.”

“Charming,” James said over the noise of tutting coming from the shopkeeper, who was now enclosing a small gift box in wrapping paper. “That’s all well and good, but knowing Remus I doubt it’s the only thing he needs from you, eh?”

Sirius quit drumming and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I mean,” James amended, “I’m sure he appreciates what you can do in bed, but I bet he needs to talk, like, dissect every old bit of rubbish you’ve ever told him, not to mention hold pseudo book-presentations on his Kafka and go on long, brisk walks in the mountains.”

“What mountains?”

“You’re a wizard, aren’t you?” James said, forgetting as usually to lower his voice, “can’t you make him some?”

Sirius, who had expected a recommendation for where to apparate for a steep hike, turned and smiled disarmingly at the shopkeeper who was standing motionless with a five-pound note in his hand, staring at the two of them. The other customer coughed discreetly into her hand.

“You reckon I should unchain him from the bed, then?”

James snorted and the shopkeeper made a noise as if he had swallowed a toad.

“I mean, we do do things other than shag,” Sirius said confidently. “We, uh… We go out a fair bit. Walk, as you say.” Sirius bit his lip as he got assaulted by memories of pushing his lover into the bushes in Victoria Park, hands down his trousers. “Take the bike out for a spin.” Remus’s hands all over him, groping him while the motor purred and vibrated… “We go to bars.” His knees were still bruised from dropping down to give head in the alley behind the Grumpy Bowtruckle that Friday. “Restaurants.” On one memorable occasion he’d taken a potion to become a woman and dressed all sexily and sucked Remus off as they waited for their duck rillettes, hidden underneath the tablecloth. “We went to the cinema last Saturday, saw the _Elephant Man_. Really good film.” They had sat alone in the back row and felt each other up and he had come with a hand clapped over his mouth, thick and creamy in Remus’s palm. Remus had blushed and offered his hand back to Sirius, who had been only too happy for a quick cinema snack to get his energy back. “Not as many elephants as expected, but we didn’t mind.”

“Sounds good,” James said fondly. “As I say, I knew you had it in you. That you would know how to be a proper boyfriend and all that jazz once you found the right person.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said shiftily.

“You do talk with him as well, right? Like properly talk. Like listen as well as talk.”

“When he needs to, sure,” Sirius said, and truth be told he was beginning to feel a bit defensive now. James gave him a shrewd look, or at least Sirius thought that’s what it was because his spectacles were almost completely fogged over by now. Sirius wondered if he could get away with drawing a knob in the condensation. “Do you let Lily talk?”

“ _Let_ her?” James repeated, his grin broadening until he was showing most of his teeth, “Mate, have you met her?”

Sirius scowled and wrapped his hand around his wand in his pocket. He focused hard until he saw a tiny shape appear in the right glass of James’s specs, then he did the same on the left. Done.

“Red hair, bit of a temper, about ye high?” Sirius pulled his hand back out and indicated a height equal to his waist.

“She’ll likely poison your portion of Sunday roast if she hears about this,” James said, “she’s been working on a potion that reverts the drinker’s vocabulary to that of a five-year old. Although, who am I kidding, neither me nor Remus would notice it if you got spiked with something like that.”

“Fuck you.”

“Some five-year-olds I know swear,” James said meditatively. “Like proper, _proper_ swear. I got called a shit-eyed mouth breather recently.”

“Why are you hanging out with-?” Sirius began, but at that moment there was a nervous clearing of a throat behind the counter.

“What can I do for you, chaps?”

“Oh yes, cheerio!” James said happily. “I’m looking to buy some chocolates for my darling wife. She prefers dark chocolate, then white, then milk, and anything raspberry is her favourite filling.”

The shopkeeper gazed woodenly at James’s glasses, where two tiny sets of cock and balls with a stray pube or three had been drawn most delicately into the condensation. There was a pause, but then he appeared to decide that, on balance, a paying customer could decorate their glasses any way they wished. 

Sirius stared distractedly into space as James decided on what chocolates to get. Of course he did other things with Remus than shag him silly, didn’t he? They had a ton of fun together doing completely non-sexual stuff. And so what if the non-sexual stuff always ended up with a kiss and a cuddle and a bit of touching? It didn’t always lead to him pulling out Remus’s massive cock to play with, sometimes Remus took out Sirius’s first.

“And for you, lad?”

Sirius started and looked up; James was leaning against the counter, the shopkeeper was leaning over it, faces rather close together. Both were staring expectantly at him. 

“I’ll get some as well,” Sirius said defiantly, purposefully ignoring how James punched the air so hard he almost dropped the enormous heart-shaped box he was now carrying, “no white ones and none with marmalade inside, anything else goes.”

“I’ll fill the same one for you, shall I?” the shopkeeper said, snatching up another heart-shaped box and holding it out for approval.

Sirius hated how manically James was grinning at him. There was no way not to interpret this as a challenge.

“Actually, do you have a bigger one?”

James boxed him in the arm but Sirius couldn’t stop grinning smugly as the shopkeeper, looking rather ecstatic, filled a box that had to have the volume of a mead barrel with chocolates. 

He paid accordingly, but then he could think of no better place to spend old Black money in than a muggle shop.

“Tell Harry his godfather’s richer than his dad,” Sirius said as they stepped out into the wet high street in Kensington. 

“You shit-eyed mouth breather, you. Speaking of Harry, though, don’t you dare bring him any more gifts,” James said sternly while glancing up at the purplish grey sky, “he’s spoilt rotten already and he can’t even say ‘thank you’, yet.”

“When do they start talking?”

“No idea. I’ll tell him you were asking for him, though, shall I? Maybe sing some ‘Anarchy in the UK’ and tell him it’s from you.”

“Cheers. I’ll make sure to brush up on some other classics for Sunday, can’t remember if I’ve treated him to my acapella version of ‘Guns of Brixton’ yet.”

“Sounds delightful. Have you learnt to keep in tune yet, though? We don’t want Freya attacking you again, thinking you’re a Death Eater come to curse us.”

“Your cat is the one that’s cursed.”

“I’ve never heard her hissing as much as she does when you’re belting out muggle tunes. She’s always hoarse by the time you leave, and we have to give her extra cream to make her happy again... We need to get a move on before it starts to pour.”

“Apparition point’s behind here somewhere.”

Sirius dragged James across the street and into an alley just as there was a displeased rumble from the skies above, then the heavens opened themselves and raindrops the size of snitches began to batter down on them.

“Save the chocolate!” James shouted and he turned on the spot with a loud crack, clutching his box to his chest and water splashing around his feet, falling down on the empty ground. 

Sirius debated using his as an umbrella for his hair, but then he sighed and stuffed it as best he could underneath his burgundy leather jacket. It was too big and so he too ended up clutching it in an awkward embrace while he disapparated and turned up in an equally drenched back alley in Mile End. He hurried on through the rain, weaving between scurrying shapes holding black umbrellas. The wind was picking up as well.

He threw open the door to his and Remus’s block of flats and ran up the stairs, his hair and clothes dripping water on every step. There was another roll of thunder and then the lights around him went out.

“This weather’s bollocks!” he declared as he stepped into their flat. It would have been completely dark but Remus had already lit the fireplace and was in the process of lighting a few candles, too. Sirius flung the sodden cardboard box triumphantly on the sofa table, the pralines rattling merrily inside.

“What’s all this?”

Remus sank down on the sofa and looked expectantly between the box and Sirius, who was jumping on one foot and in the process of removing his boots, little water droplets flying all over from his long hair.

“It’s chocolate. Thought I could ply you with some and in exchange you’d let me shag you.”

In all honesty, as soon as he set eyes upon Remus, he had quite forgotten why he had gotten the chocolates in the first place. There was very little else going on in his head other than ‘wonder if he’s wearing underwear?’ and ‘his mouth looks nice’ and ‘fuck the rain’. 

“Oh,” Remus said, the corners of his mouth twitching endearingly. He reached out a hand but not for the box but for Sirius, and Sirius, free from his boots at last, took it. “Any chance I can get the sex first?”

Sirius grunted in approval, his free hand already busy with his flies, then Remus’s hand was on his bum, squeezing and coaxing him to move forward.

“Oomph,” Sirius said as he fell onto Remus who was sent flying against the sofa cushions like the lightest of rag dolls. Sirius had his shirt off before he even had the time to check if today’s jumper had been darned several times over or not. The fire crackled merrily beside them and lit up Remus’s bared belly with a shadowy orange glow and Sirius descended on it with mouth and hands and a drawn-out moan of appreciation. It cramped up and froze, all the little muscles and the freckly skin stretched taut over ribs and the tender, soft bit by the lining of his trousers. The sky lit up outside the window and Sirius looked at his stomach with scattered diamonds and thought it might be the waterdrops from his hair. He kissed and kissed until it relaxed for him, until it was soft and ticklish and his lips sank in just where his pubic hair started. He placed his ear on the flat expanse to listen, to check in on the funny little noises that came from inside his lover’s stomach. Remus petted his wet hair and pinched his ear.

There was a soft gurgling, but before Sirius got to try to mimic it or tease him for it there was another almighty rumble coming from outside that quite overpowered it. The rain grew louder, smacking roughly against the windows and there was even a rattle coming from somewhere within the walls of the house. 

Remus’s legs wrangled out from underneath Sirius’s chest and he caught Sirius’s head between them. Sirius buried his face in his groin and breathed him in, so close to all that boiling blood, just a thin layer of trousers and some cushiony pubes that smelled delicious.

“No underwear,” Sirius concluded contentedly, accidentally-on-purpose catching Remus’s plump, round dickhead between his lips while he spoke. He could hear a seam straining as Remus reached full capacity, as yet hidden away and awfully restricted. One of Remus’s nervous hands descended on his flies, so hesitant it was as if Remus wasn’t sure he was allowed to open his own trousers. Sirius watched while he mouthed soothingly over the tenting fabric, watched the slender, large-jointed fingers with no-longer bitten fingernails tremble as they pulled open the outer button, then a hidden inner one. The zip began moving on its own and Sirius descended on the middle finger, sucking it into his mouth with a triumphant hum. 

They caught each other’s eye after, Remus with his legs slung over his shoulders and panting and blushing while the noise from the opening zipper filled the room and Sirius with half his body hanging over the sofa, beaming in anticipation while he sucked on Remus’s finger. Eventually the erection sprang free in all its glory and smacked Sirius noisily over his chin and cheek, thick and long and filled to bursting with hot blood. Remus tried to pull his hand away but Sirius kept his finger and plunged face-first into his cock. He nuzzled into it and breathed deeply, keeping his eyes cracked open just so that he could see the freckles adorning his lover’s foreskin. They were due for a recount, he realized, since he liked to keep track of which ones were fickle children of the sun and which ones were his to admire in the wintertime, too; but then Remus tried to remove his hand again and Sirius had to reprioritize. 

He grabbed Remus’s bony wrist and manipulated his hand until he was stroking his own shaft, until Remus helped his own delicious dickhead find its place in Sirius’s mouth together with the finger. 

Sirius slurped around him, thrilled by the familiar flavour and his lips stretched wide to accommodate it all. His free hand sneaked into the opening in the trousers and Remus made a muffled noise when his balls were fondled. This was the best thing Sirius knew, right here between his lover’s willingly spread legs, his lover’s belly relaxing again and his bright eyes watching and his blush deep red on his cheeks and a pretty rose further down his neck and chest. Nipples pebbled like the ripest of rosebuds just about to blossom. Freckles all over, muted in the winter but right here, in the light from the fire, they still remembered warm summer days. There was a small burst of pure Remus on his tongue and Sirius moaned and tried to get more, his tongue worrying the little slit at the head before its time, before it was quite time to orgasm. 

“Your precum tastes so good,” Sirius explained apologetically, finger and squishy, sopping wet cockhead throbbing beside his mouth. Remus was holding it properly now, blushing deeply but holding it all by himself. “Rub yourself in my face, Remus.”

Remus had apparently been waiting for just those words because he heeded immediately, a content sigh breathed out and then Sirius was able to feel him all over. He closed his eyes like a content cat and nuzzled in, palming full, hot testicles and licking the thick pubes around the base while the shaft slapped across one cheek and rubbed against the other and some more wetness seeped out over his forehead. 

“Please Sirius, can I, in your mouth?”

Sirius licked a broad stripe up the shaft, marvelling at the size that paired so splendidly with the rest of his lover’s skinny, bony body, and he got to the tip just on time.

It was delicious; more tangy than sweet and he tasted the same salt he had put in their tomato omelette that morning. He sucked and sucked, tongue pressing in and purposefully drawing his lover’s climax out until the legs around his neck were shaking and the bright eyes staring him down were wet and pleading. Sirius released him and laid him to rest in the crease of his thigh before he descended on his belly and blew a loud raspberry there. Remus groaned at him but he also tried to spread his legs even wider, like he wanted to assure Sirius he had found the right spot to lay his body down in. 

Sirius had too much energy and he got up from the sofa feeling his own blood thrum, his arousal simmering like he was preparing a flavour-rich stew, and he could hear the wind picking up outside and a constant patter of rain on the windows. It felt good to know that they were inside, that they could just listen to the storm while it raged and wait for the electricity to be fixed. Cuddle and fuck and listen to the thunder and watch the lightning and how it showed off the angles on Remus’s body better than the muggle ceiling lamp ever could. Remus squirmed endearingly on the sofa, his eyes tired and content and with a single tear track leading down his cheek, glittering from the light of the fire. His spent cock was growing soft on his belly, the wet tip gleaming in the orange light, and his trousers were still mostly on. Sirius took the ends of the trouser legs and pulled to get them off. His bare legs looked almost orange in the light, fuzzy with hair and every muscle starkly defined over the equally visible bones. Sirius stared adoringly at the slight bit of fat on the inside of his thighs; he could feel not just his cock but his heart swell. There were some freckles there, too.

He remembered the chocolates and went over to the box and tore it open. They, too, glittered in the flickering light, looking like dark gemstones in slightly ruffled rows from where they had been jostled when Sirius ran with them and apparated with them. He chose a particularly fat one and placed it in Remus’s mouth, making his lover blush again but also moan with happiness. Sirius undressed slowly while he watched his lover, how comfortable he looked now, bared all over and letting Sirius see him just the way he was. Sirius found that his shirt was rather wet, apparently the rain had gotten through the neck of his jacket. His hair was still damp, too, and curlier than Remus’s thanks to the moisture.  
Sirius chose another chocolate, a dark one that James had taken loads of because it contained raspberry cream. He teased Remus’s mouth with it, but only for a second or two. He didn’t have it in him to deprive him of anything.

After that he sat with Remus’s penis, sat and listened to Remus suck on his chocolates and to the rolling thunder outside. Remus’s cock was a marvel, truly, the way the blood began to pulse inside as soon as Sirius caressed it. He played with the foreskin, watched how smoothly it rolled down, how vulnerable the glans looked when exposed. How there was more, delicious pre-ejaculate dripping down over Sirius’s fingernail before his cock had even gotten fully hard. Sirius had another taste.

“Want the box closer to you? You can eat chocolates while I suck you off.” 

Remus bit his bottom lip, soft and tasty-looking and Sirius didn’t want him to bite, didn’t want him to hurt any of the precious little bits that made up his body. 

“What’s that you say? Rim you, then blow you?”

But Remus had stopped biting his lip and was staring greedily at Sirius’s cock, which, although not quite as impressive in size as his own, was currently just as hard.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked smugly, and Remus’s gaze didn’t waver once. “Got any lube here?”

Remus finally looked away, red in the face and dangling one slender arm down the sofa and rummaging underneath it.

“You’ve got a stash and everything, I see,” Sirius said approvingly and accepted the bottle. “Very practical of you.”

Remus managed a snort, finally, and Sirius could see the amusement finally overpower the embarrassment. Sirius squeezed a bony ankle, then lifted it higher and kissed a couple of toes and the delicate bridge of his foot. 

“Perfect all over, aren’t you?” Sirius placed the leg on the other side of him, meaning he yet again found himself in between his lover’s legs. Exactly the right spot, Sirius was quite sure they were both in agreement on that. He popped the cap to the lubricant bottle open, but then he put it aside anyway and buried his face between Remus’s legs.

“Mmmm…”

Remus sighed contentedly and Sirius sucked and sucked on his bollocks, munched on the loose skin and the hard little playthings inside. Then he sat back up and lifted Remus’s lower body, held his back steady while Remus yelped; his legs dangling near his head, his heavy cock pointing straight at his own face and his back curved. Sirius kissed his arsehole noisily, snogged it until it was wet and soft, until it began to give, until his tongue could slip inside almost without pressing. It was a gorgeous thing, and Sirius told it as much. Pink and pretty and barely wrinkled at all. Strong and healthy and tasting like chocolate on the inside. Remus made a noise indicating strong disbelief and Sirius ignored him, kissed him some more. They caught each other’s eye like that, Sirius mouthing away and Remus’s face bright pink because his dick was touching his own chin.

“You could probably suck your own,” Sirius said casually, licking his sticky lips, and gently guiding Remus’s back down a bit, letting him get more comfortable although he wasn’t allowed to lie down flat. Sirius still wanted his hole. “Wish I could, but I’m not nearly flexible enough. I also don’t have a hippogriff dong.”

Remus swallowed noisily and looked like he was contemplating escaping the scene of the shag. Sirius tutted at him.

“Imagine that, though, imagine if I was as bendy as you are. Imagine if we both had fucking monster cocks. We could stuff my mouth with both mine and yours at the same time.”

“You’re so gross,” Remus said, but Sirius could tell he didn’t mean it. Could tell his mouth was beginning to pull into one of those gorgeous, mischievous Moony-smiles.

“I taste quite good myself,” Sirius continued haughtily, “I make good sperm, too. I’d love that, actually, if we could both come at the same time. Fill my mouth until it’s coming out my nose.”

Remus sniggered and tried to slap him, Sirius ducked and kissed his bottom some more. Then he snatched the lube bottle from between two cushions, where it had leaked a little. No matter.

“Let’s get you nice and stretched, hmm? Wet and beautiful, you’ll be so smooth inside. Bit of texture, bit of a grip, but mostly you’re all smooth. You’re so perfect.”

Remus’s eyes were suddenly welling with tears again and Sirius tried to hush him and reassure him, although admittedly he focused mainly on his arsehole. Remus got emotional sometimes, and as far as Sirius could tell it meant he was fine. Sirius’s belly was doing that funny backflip again and he busied himself massaging lube into Remus’s pink little hole, he cooed at it and kissed around it, snuggled with the insides of his thighs.

“And that’s the magic spot, isn’t it?” he said sagely, rubbing two fingers into the delicate bump two knuckles deep inside his lover. Remus’s eyes grew big and even more vulnerable and Sirius hastened to smile comfortingly at him. “Squeezing my fingers, eh? Tight little thing today. But don’t worry, I’ll get you loose and sloppy. And I’ve got a nice big cock for you, bet you’ll enjoy rubbing it against your prostate. Bet that’ll feel nice for you.”

“I’m ready,” Remus mumbled, just as lightning struck again outside.

“Are you?” Sirius churned his fingers around, felt the resistance that was slowly melting away. Even if his rim was the most co-operative little thing Sirius had ever encountered, the inner sphincter was a little bit trickier. Strong and incredibly fragile at the same time. It released some of its grip around his fingers and the thunder boomed outside. “Gorgeous darling. Are you warm enough?”

Remus smiled and gazed contentedly at the fire beside them, then back at Sirius. Sirius licked a bit around him, tasted the familiar way the lube mingled with Remus’s clean, soft skin. Then he pulled out slowly, rubbed his sticky fingers on his thigh while Remus crawled into a sitting position and straight into Sirius’s lap. Thunder echoed again outside and Sirius stared adoringly into Remus’s flustered, concentrated face while he searched for the right angle.

“Ahh…”

“So good,” Sirius agreed. Remus’s eyes had temporarily rolled back into his skull and his head was thrown back, his neck bared. He was sinking down slowly, savouring it and Sirius could already feel his balls tightening. It was too good, but then he wouldn’t have it any other way. Not anymore.

“I love you,” Sirius said gently, and Remus looked down and kissed him, full on the mouth. He wrapped his arms loosely around Sirius’s neck and began rising, and Sirius squeezed his hips, then the marvel that was Remus’s plump, soft behind, it too at odds with the skinniness he otherwise possessed in such abundance. 

Another bolt of lightning and the resounding echo of thunder, and Sirius couldn’t leave Remus’s mouth alone. It tasted a little of chocolate, and chocolate just so happened to marry perfectly with the taste of Remus’s skin, the taste of his come and pre-ejaculate and that musky taste that hid inside his pink little arsehole. Remus was taking his time with teasing his own prostate, letting Sirius’s prick drag slowly against it all the while his erection leaked streams of clear precum that painted Sirius’s abs shiny. They fucked slow and kissed passionately to the backdrop of the lightning storm, and Sirius felt how hot Remus’s back became from the open fire.

“I love you too,” Remus groaned eventually, and Sirius noticed to his delight that there were ropes of white splattering his stomach. Sirius helped him along a little, rubbed him until the pink head looked used and sore, until Sirius’s hand, too, was drenched in sticky white come. Sirius thrust a few more times while he licked his palm, soon he was climaxing too. Remus watched him with exhausted amusement on his face, then fed him the rest of the spilled come from his belly.

“Cheers,” Sirius said, which made Remus laugh and shake his head as though he didn’t think Sirius should be thanking him. His eyes were dark and a bit emotional still, and he only hesitated a second before he kissed Sirius’s mouth, tonguing inside and shuddering a bit, licking around and tasting it all.

“Thank you for the chocolates.”

“You’re welcome. We all need our little treats,” Sirius said, and indeed his mind was already fixed on the treat he wanted for himself. “Let’s get the box for you.”

They shuffled around and Remus made a mortified noise, hand going awkwardly to his behind. Sirius flipped him onto his back again and dumped the heavy chocolate box on his flat chest. Remus hesitated, then took one while his legs spread themselves accommodatingly once more, and Sirius winked raunchily at him, taking a praline for himself and then diving right back in between his legs.

“Let’s see,” Sirius said confidently and squinted at the tight pink hole oozing semen and winking right back at him. “Let’s see if I can fit the chocolate right here…”

It fit perfectly in Remus’s anus, melting away and adding to the delicious treat Sirius had decided he wanted to indulge in. 

“You comfy? Nice and warm?”

“Mmm.”

“Need to discuss that Kafka you were reading earlier?”

“I’m all good.”

“Perfect,” Sirius said and dived in.


End file.
